Whatev

I know, it's not Whatever, think Jersey, it's "whatev." That's how I feel about my running this week.

I guess I had higher expectations that I would be more like my old self right now. I mean, ok, I drank too much wine on Friday, so bonked on Saturday. But, I've been behaving, and my last two 7 milers have, well, frankly, um, sucked. (this is called "can't take the Jersey out of the girl)

I'm kind of fed up with it all. I know I shouldn't be. But, on the one hand, Pieter wants me to run at a faster pace and do a speed workout with Gazelles. I just don't feel up to it. I am really struggling on these runs to find the groove, to run without pain or discomfort, to open up the stride.

Basically, I am not running with Joy as coach would say. I'm thinking, I'm adjusting, I'm watching my watch. I pull my knees higher, I watch my foot strike on the right leg, I stick my butt out while pulling my gut in (no easy task) and, I lean forward. I'm uncomfortable. I get one or two miles where I get into a groove and that's it.

I hear my breathing, I hear my plodding feet, I feel my gut go up and down while I run. I run "heavy". I am frustrated with myself and the negative tape plays over and over in my head. I beat myself up for needing an attitude adjustment so soon after coming back from a lovely, restful vacation.

I want to be light on my feet and enjoy the running again. I need to break through this week and my negative feelings. I need to bump up the miles (three weeks at 26 miles for the week) and I need to get over it and get to the track.