Stupid Human Tricks: Take 44

Just when you think it's safe to go outside....um, you trip over your own two feet. I have never professed to be particularly graceful or athletic and I think I prove that daily. I definitely proved it the other day.

In my fit to "follow the schedule" and "not miss a work out" (remember Chris Farley here); I decided to sleep in (until 6 am) and go to the gym at lunch (horrors). Of course, then I was pressed for time (shocker) and had to drive like a maniac to the gym and get it done.

I got my new shoes -- Asic, Gel Nimbus 11, size 9.5 2A (narrow) (real shoe size is 7); anyway, I hate them. Whether it be the cheaply made shoes (I'm thinking they are knock-offs) or my lack of agility, my jog to the door of the gym ended up with me on the ground...all ghostly white long arms and legs in-o-so-understated-green shorts, cap and short. I must have nicked the sprinkler head and it sent me sprawling as if it were ice. I landed hard on my left hip and elbow. But, wait, the kicker, I nicked my right foot, you guessed it, right below the cuboid bone. Seriously.

Pause. Did I mention how well I have felt on my last two runs?

I wanted to cry, scream and go totally Jersey. Little children were asking me if I was ok. I wanted to cry like a 4 year old. It hurt so badly I was afraid that something was broken. I decided to pretend that it wasn't, dust myself off and go inside to get my work out.

My foot hurt, it throbbed. I took my shoe off and looked. It was already bruised, but it was not near the cuboid bone. If it was broken, it would be swollen, right?

My elbow was bleeding some, and my hip was bruising up. But, boy, was I mad at myself. I went back outside at the end to see where I had tripped. I didn't see a sprinkler head that was protruding enough for me to trip over.

Just my own grace and finesse, I suppose. Maybe it's the big toe box of these Asics...that's it. I'm packing them up and sending them back. Both pair