Tigger - I'm the Only One!

Saturday we headed out and I wanted to try to extend my medium long run by one mile. Just one.

It was a point to point run, so I had to meet my crew part way into the run. I saw LB's truck at my designated parking spot, so I was curious. I watched Gazelle after Gazelle go by. Finally, LB and DD showed up. DD was hurting already. I thought she'd tied one on the night before, but she just did not have enough fuel. So, before we started, DD had to eat.

Off we go. I felt really good -- for a change. At the first water stop, we saw Gilbert and I pulled off to catch up with him for a bit. I sent the kids ahead and then hit the ladies room...that is, ladies pit stop bush.

Next water stop, we hook up with PK, who is going to Boston too. I always like to see PK, he has good energy. We talk a bit and head out.

After the next water stop, I start to feel really good and start pushing. I haven't felt like this in a very long time, so I just keep going. All of a sudden -- way into this run-- I look down and realize that I do not have my car key any longer. Now, granted, I have done this before. I cannot believe that I just now realized that the key was gone. It's a big key on a Tigger key chain -- you can't miss it or drop it without noticing.

I'm pissed at myself. Worse, I can't recall when I saw it last. I'm only 43 for goodness sake. I would curse here, so just imagine it.

Anyway, I go to OC mode (obsessive compulsive). I borrow LB's phone and call Gilbert -- no answer. I run more, I think more, I beat myself up more. Now, I'm running pretty good. I think about having to call my husband to get up and drag my two kids out to pick me up and break into my car. I run harder. My shoulders tighten, my back aches.

At the end, LB hands me the phone and I call Gilbert again. "My sister Red, what's up?" I try to be calm...Hey G, did you happen to see a key on a Tigger key chain? "Is that yours?" Yes. "Yes, I have it, Red, where are you?"

Milagro! I am so relieved, honestly. I just spent nearly $200 bucks for the last key I lost running. I love my Coach!

Whatev

I know, it's not Whatever, think Jersey, it's "whatev." That's how I feel about my running this week.

I guess I had higher expectations that I would be more like my old self right now. I mean, ok, I drank too much wine on Friday, so bonked on Saturday. But, I've been behaving, and my last two 7 milers have, well, frankly, um, sucked. (this is called "can't take the Jersey out of the girl)

I'm kind of fed up with it all. I know I shouldn't be. But, on the one hand, Pieter wants me to run at a faster pace and do a speed workout with Gazelles. I just don't feel up to it. I am really struggling on these runs to find the groove, to run without pain or discomfort, to open up the stride.

Basically, I am not running with Joy as coach would say. I'm thinking, I'm adjusting, I'm watching my watch. I pull my knees higher, I watch my foot strike on the right leg, I stick my butt out while pulling my gut in (no easy task) and, I lean forward. I'm uncomfortable. I get one or two miles where I get into a groove and that's it.

I hear my breathing, I hear my plodding feet, I feel my gut go up and down while I run. I run "heavy". I am frustrated with myself and the negative tape plays over and over in my head. I beat myself up for needing an attitude adjustment so soon after coming back from a lovely, restful vacation.

I want to be light on my feet and enjoy the running again. I need to break through this week and my negative feelings. I need to bump up the miles (three weeks at 26 miles for the week) and I need to get over it and get to the track.

Running and Red, Red, Wine

The neighbors have little gatherings during the summer on Friday nights. There are lots of times I don't go, either out of sheer fatigue from the week or because I know I'll be getting up early for my long run.

When I first started with the Gazelle's, I could barely finish a long run, especially in the summer. I bonked so many times, it was ridiculous. One Saturday, I walked all the way from the Omlettetre back to RunTex. It took forever and I was really struggling. Not too mention how I had to slink in to my car so no one would see me.

These days, I'm still trying to build on the miles and see how this old body reacts (see last AA blog entry) For three weeks now, I've run 26 miles or so for the week and I've stayed there and made it just fine. On the long runs, about mile 9 or 10, I start to get crabby --- ask LB.

So, back to Friday. I sauntered down to the cul-de-sac with my first wine glass of the night. I promised to keep it to 2. Well, Jersey Girl emerged and before I knew it, I was on to my third glass and talking smack. I also did not have lunch or dinner yet.

I wander home at the end of the evening regretting my mistake and knowing I'll regret more in the morning. All my neighbors have bet against me getting up in the AM and actually doing the run. Because they doubt me so, I force myself up, even though I know for sure I might still register a BAC number if I got stopped on the way to Lady Bird Lake.

Two cups of coffee and part of a cliff bar and drag myself to the car. On the way in, Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody comes on. It's blaring out of my car at 5:20 in the AM when I pull in at the tennis courts. I'm kind of punchy and ready to go.

The first couple miles, I put down pretty easy and then I get a groove and feel great. Then I stop for water at the Jewish Center. I linger too long which was a big mistake. Combined with hills on the way back, I'm eating it by mile 9.5 and have to find a construction site.

Anyway, LB and Double D wait for me. Please don't wait for me, I nearly beg. I am hurting and I know the crab meister will be rearing her ugly head soon.

When we get to the MoPac bridge, LB and Double D stop for water. I'm not stopping, I yell, I just need to finish and off I go. I slug, I curse myself for all that Red, Red wine. But, I finish the run, it's not pretty, but I did.

The neighbors under-estimated my resolve!